so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
