we have officially lost it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
