haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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