she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
