i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
They took my balls.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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