I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
