We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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