Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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