but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
vagina is talking i cant
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
