I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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