11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
two words: eviction party
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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