i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
smell my finger.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
