The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
