would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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