it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
