When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
