I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
