I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
