I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
