I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
