you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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