I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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