you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
