I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
