I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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