He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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