I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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