shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
