The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
