she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
