Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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