Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
