her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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