Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
