It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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