That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
