The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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