I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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