I'm really into asian looking animals
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
