life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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