wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You know, be my cock's hype man.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
