dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
