I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
