When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
