He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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