Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
