don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
