Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
