I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
