OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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